May 16, 2006
KISS (circa 1996)
My sophomore year of college, I spent almost every Thursday night in the company of three friends: The Greatness, Bowl, and Clint. We played a myriad of poker-based card games in sessions that would last for many, many hours.
At some point during this time, we started playing KISS cds fairly constantly throughout the game. Well, KISS and Digital Underground, but that’s another story entirely. The idea was each person got a turn to choose a CD that would break the concentration of the other players.
Clint and I had one class together in the Spring of 1996, The Philosophy of Aristotle. During one weekly card session, we joked that we should take our final exam in full KISS makeup. The next day in class, we mentioned this to our instructor. She laughed and said something to the effect of “Yeah, right, you’d never do that.”
Wrong thing to say.
The guantlet having been thrown, we traveled to Glen’s Fair Price (actual conversation with store clerk: “We know this is a strange request, but-” “There are no strange requests here.”) and picked up a variety of makeup. The morning of the exam, we met at Clint and Bowl’s place and began the tedious process of putting on the makeup.
We walked into the exam room, and immediately the students began to laugh and whisper. My good friend Michael, who also didn’t believe we would do it, slumped down in his chair, perhaps in fear of the enviable awesomeness of Clint and myself.
Our instructor walked in, took one look at us, and walked back out. She came back in, shaking her head. Throughout the exam, I noticed she would occasionally look up, shake her head in amazement, and go back to her reading.
I think I got a B on that final. Moral of story: Peter Criss was obviously the intelligent member of the group, so you should dress up like him if you want an A.
Take a look. I would be the one portaying Ace Frehley on the right, while Clint took up the facade of Gene Simmons on the left.
May 3, 2006
Note to Self
Dear Self:
If such a happenstance should ever occur that you find yourself cast in a highly successful primetime network TV series, please remember that any sort of drunken, criminal behavior will result in almost immediate termination.
Sincerely,
Self
Did you people see that shit? Man, the rest of that cast won’t even pretend to know what alcohol is for at least a season and a half.
Of course, Michael did it on purpose. There ain’t a bunch of old people and women hiding on the other side of the island.